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Doormen should really get more respect and recognition. Not only do they accept our groceries and amazon deliveries, but they have also learned to notice our every subtlety, they are regular spectators of our unfolding lives, and they never ever forget who we are. This weekend my family took a stroll down memory lane as we gear up to leave behind the city we have called home for so many years. Although we have walked by our first apartment in Manhattan many times with our kids, this time we decided to enter the building and show them a deeper sense of where our oldest child spent almost his first two years of life and where our second son was conceived and spent the first few months of his life as well. Never did I imagine, that when we entered the lobby that the doorman, thirteen years later, would not only remember our names but would also quickly spew out the exact apartment that we lived in. I was shocked. Literally, I struggled for words trying to process how he could possibly remember us thirteen years later when we barely spent one and a half years living there. When we moved out of this building, we moved across the street to a new complex built by the same management company. In this second apartment, our daughter was conceived and we ultimately spent another year and a half or so there. Similarly, when we visited the lobby, a former porter recognized us and greeted us cheerfully. He too even remembered the unit we lived in eleven years ago. How were they able to remember so much about us when I couldn't even recognize their faces? They remembered our names, our apartment numbers, the interest of our tiny children at the time. Thousands of tenants have gone in and out of the revolving doors of both buildings, but somehow they remembered us. While I may not remember these two specific people, I do clearly remember two doormen who especially took an interest in our family and made a big impact in our hearts. I also remember feeling grateful to be in such a beautiful building with doormen who treated our children with such kindness and love. I also have clear memories of our son's first Halloween in one of these buildings and even meeting our neighbors down the hall with who we have remained friends for the past fourteen years. Our oldest son celebrated his first and second birthdays on the roof. Too many memories to share were made here. It struck me that the doormen from our past that we encountered this last weekend, were a part of these memories too. In fact, they have memories of us that we don't have ourselves. I've been thinking about this experience for the past couple of days. Although I tried to make light of our former doorman remembering us by suggesting that he donate his brain to science, I was deeply touched. I wonder how much he really remembers about my life during my first days entering motherhood and trying to navigate my new journey in life. Doormen are, in fact, part of the few people in our lives that see us each and every day. If they were able to recall what apartment number we lived in, I have a feeling they have access to memories of me as a newbie mom that I myself don't even have access to. Even today, we have extremely close relationships with our doormen. In our current building, where we have lived for eleven years, our doormen met me when I was pregnant with our third child. They have witnessed our children grow from newborns to tweens and teens. They showered us with love over the years which we have easily reciprocated ever since. One of the hardest things I will need to face when moving out of New York City is saying "goodbye" to the doormen who have made a huge imprint on the lives of our children and my own life as well. I am not kidding when I share that saying goodbye to my doormen will be as difficult for me as closing our front door for the last time. There is one doorman in particular that I specifically cannot bear to think about parting from. Leaving him means letting go of constants in my life- a cheerful greeting every morning and a regular witness to the days of my children's childhood. Saying goodbye to him means saying goodbye to all the years my children whirled through our lobby - first in strollers, then by holding my hand as they struggled to take their newly conquered steps, later zipping by on their three-wheeled scooters ultimately graduating to two wheels, eventually onto tricycles and bicycles, and nowadays they move in and out freely and independently without needing me at all. He has watched them in every phase of their life. He shares my deepest struggle with time and how quickly our children have grown. As a father of grown children, he gets me. He points out almost daily" how quickly they grow" and in the same breath shares "how much it sucks when they leave you". Leaving him, and this lobby means leaving behind my tiny children who are now almost young adults, bringing me one step closer to that part of life "that sucks when they leave you", but this time he won't be around to talk me through it. In San Diego I won't have him to cheer me on every morning nor will he continue to witness the growth they will endure for the next few years. Saying goodbye to him means leaving behind a huge part of my life in so many ways. As soon as I close our front door for the last time, my next move will be towards the lobby to say goodbye to our doormen and all the years that we spent with them in that safe space. When our time in this building is replayed in my mind, it's like watching a movie that was recorded over eleven years condensed into an eleven-second short film. It's all a blur, and a shock really, but perhaps closing the door means leaving behind the beautiful memories that bring me to tears because I long for those days so badly it literally hurts. Closing the door means opening new ones and looking ahead. Saying goodbye to the places that harbor our memories means making space for new phases. Saying goodbye to our doormen is really saying goodbye to a huge part of our life, a part I know I can never get back no matter how hard I try. Closing the door means moving on from the agonizing pain that comes with knowing that our kids won't stay little forever. Now that they have begun to grow at lightning speed, it's time to close the door on the insatiable hunger to cling to the past, even if it means letting go of those incredible doormen who constantly remind me of how quickly our lives are passing by. Perhaps it is time to open a new door in a new place where there are no haunting memories of pudgy hands and silly giggles and calls for mommy. And whenever I'll long for these days again, I'll always have my New York City doormen to turn to relive the memories with me because they were right there all along.

Twenty-three years ago today, my husband and I exchanged our vows and committed our lives to one another. Here we are a couple of decades later still enjoying one another's companionship, deeply loving each other, and thankfully going strong. We have weathered our teens, twenties, thirties, and now the beginning of our forties together. I have been contemplating the reasons we have endured a long and overall happy marriage when fifty percent of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Below are my personal tips for a successful marriage. Share Your Money. One hundred percent of my friends who are in rocky marriages all share this one thing: they have separate bank accounts. While the notion of having one bank account may seem old-fashioned to some, I strongly believe that having separate accounts leads to a separation of unity between a couple. For the first decade of our marriage, I earned more money than my spouse. During the second decade of our marriage, he has earned more than me (I have mostly focused on being a mom during these years). We each supported one another during the stages of our lives and there was never a sense of financial inequity with one person earning more and keeping the additional funds to themselves. In my opinion, a healthy marriage shares their money. If you can't bring yourself to pool your money with your spouse, there are some underlying issues that will surely surface over the years. Once you create the division of "mine and yours", I believe, it paves the path for other divisions within the relationship to arise. Don't Control Your Spouse's Fun Potential. I often hear men saying they have to run something by "their boss" (i.e. wives) before deciding to go out with the boys or take a boys' trip. On another note, women often feel like they have to run personal expenditures on luxuries by their husbands before making the purchase. Although it is common courtesy to share your plans with your life partner, it is important to note that your spouse should never feel like they are asking for permission to do or buy anything. Let your spouse enjoy life, encourage them to accept invites with their friends, support their need to make a pricey purchase once in a while. Saying "no" to them will only lead to resentment. Have Outside Hobbies and Interests. Spending time with your spouse is a crucial component of a successful relationship. However, it is equally important that each partner have their own interests outside of the marriage. Doing so reduces dependency on one another, allows for more interesting conversations on those date nights, and leads to an overall happier life. Listen to One Another. I know, we all think we are good listeners but being a great listener requires more than just listening. It necessitates processing the information we receive and turning this information into action. When your spouse shares their feelings with you, make the effort to actually execute on what they have expressed. Nothing is more annoying than spilling your guts out about behaviors that bother you only to encounter those same behaviors again and again and again. Do yourself, and your spouse, a favor and address the issues that your spouse expresses immediately, or else be prepared for a potential blow-up once these same issues keep resurfacing. Spend Time Together. The couples that I know who seem to be the happiest spend a lot of time together. I don't know if they spend time together because they are happy with each other or if they are happy with each other because they spend time together. I also know that couples who spend a lot of time apart have weaker relationships. It's obvious really. Spending more time together will lead to a stronger connection and a more successful marriage. Share an Equal Amount of Differing Roles. Each spouse should be in charge of different "departments" in the household. Perhaps one may pay the bills while the other orders the groceries. Or maybe one plans the social calendar while the other shuffles the kids to school. More commonly, one may earn an income through their career while the other's profession of raising children does not include a salary at all. There are hundreds of tasks we all need to execute in life. Make a list of everything that is required to run your own household. Your list should be equally divided between both marriage partners based on each spouse's strengths, abilities, and desires. Allow Your Spouse to Evolve. It is inevitable that your spouse will change over the years. The natural tendency of humans is to evolve and transform over their life cycle. Yet so many spouses attempt to thwart their partner's growth. I know one couple whose husband yearned to leave his career as a doctor to follow a new passion for teaching that he developed in his forties. His spouse strongly discouraged this change. I get it, it's scary when your spouse suddenly wants to pick up and start a new career, one that earns less albeit. However, you should never ever be the one to take away any opportunity from your spouse. Like you, he/she gets one shot at life. If you want them to actually like you, stop putting chains on them. Thank Them Often. Although each spouse has assigned tasks, they shouldn't be taken for granted. I am assigned the chef hat in our home. This role is expected of me but my husband never fails to thank me for each meal that I prepare. This morning, I went to fill my gallon jug with water only to find that my husband filled it for me. Of course, I thanked him. Don't take each other for granted. Thank one another for the smallest gestures, even if they are for things that are "expected" to be fulfilled. Don't be "One of Those" Who Thinks Valentine's Day is a Way for Hallmark to Make Money. After a few years of marriage, too many couples begin to drop celebrating each other's birthdays and anniversaries or holidays like Valentine's Day and Father's/Mother's Day, etc... Don't be one of those couples. Plan something fun for your spouse on these celebratory events, buy them something special. It makes me sad that so many people have convinced themselves that "birthdays aren't important" or that buying a gift for a spouse on these occasions has been dropped entirely. Take every opportunity to make your spouse feel special and show them that you have taken the time to think of them during these special days. Anyone who says that these events don't matter to them is lying. They have convinced themselves that these calendar days are foolish in reaction to not receiving attention from their spouse on these holidays over the years. Everyone wants to be pampered. Everyone. Don't skip these special days. Work on You. You cannot be in a happy marriage if you are not happy yourself. Living a happy life takes work, effort, dedication, and patience. If you are unhappy with aspects of your life they will manifest in your marriage. You must work on your own happiness before you can contribute to happiness in a marriage. In May I published an article called "15 Tips Towards True Happiness". I hope you take a minute to read through it for inspiration. If none of these tips appeal to you, then figure out what does. Couples often make the mistake of thinking they are unhappy in their marriage because their spouse makes them unhappy. This may certainly be the case in some instances but most times the unhappiness lies within the person who is unsatisfied with their own life outside of their marriage. Just know, that you cannot be in a happy marriage until you are happy.

The concept of continuity has permeated my thoughts these past weeks. I've been tossing this notion around exploring the underlying continuousness that pervades our lives despite the popular discourse around how finite everything is. Although there are just five weeks left before our move to San Diego, my husband and I share a lack of anxiety and the kinds of nerves that would be expected in such a drastic move. Instead, we find ourselves full of excitement, eager to jump into the unknown, and ready to observe the new lives we create for ourselves. We both equally have noted how seamless the transition feels to both of us during the many discussions of our upcoming adventures. Why is it so easy for us to leave a home we love that our children grew up in, a city that treated us so well, a plethora of friends, and an overall very comfortable life in New York City? Continuity. Let me explain. Deciding to embark on a nine-month road trip was more life-changing than we could have ever anticipated. The constant weaving between cities and states and constant moving from home to home across the country actually established a continued fluidity in our lifestyle and ultimately our ability to just pick up and leave a city we anchored our roots in. The continuous moving around over a total of thirteen months (some changes were made locally) during the pandemic has catapulted us into a life full of adaptability and desire to continue moving. We could have easily decided to continue living in New York City but the continuous excitement that comes with change inspired us to continue moving. When thinking about this more deeply, I realize how so many of our decisions have a continuous effect on our overall life. This awareness reveals how much control we actually do have in our own destinies. Consider for one moment all the continuity in your life that has stuck around for several years. Then try to remember the source, the seed that planted this habit, routine, perspective, etc... that lingered along by your side in the form of the resulting blossomed inceptions. For example, if you consciously have decided to be an active person, you are probably in great physical and mental shape, sleep well, and incorporate healthy foods into your diet. By being fit, there is likely a continuum of positive factors that flow into your life: the energy to go out with friends, the desire to spend time outdoors, and even perhaps an affinity to travel. In return, you evolve into a more interesting person who has a lot of experiences to share, is more versed in other cultures, holds fewer biases against others, and has the kind of sophisticated palate that comes with dabbling in various cuisines. There is a continuous progression towards a wonderful life that stems from your commitment to be active. When taking a moment to really grasp the idea that every decision you make will lead to a continuous, long-lasting, string of outcomes, you won't be able to shy away from how much influence you have on your own destiny. Similarly, if we firmly hold on to bad habits or unhelpful patterns, they too form into continuous routines that deliver equally negative results. Allowing negative conversations to invade our minds leads to gloomy outcomes. Once we embark on the train that takes us to the land of self-hate and self-doubt it can often prove to be an unpleasant, never-ending continuous trip, often to hell. Sometimes the ride isn't as extreme as a drop-off in hell. We catch ourselves continuing down the wrong path. At this point we either accept the direction we are going in, embracing the consequences, or we clip them from continuing from further flourishment. There are countless threads we all have tied to the core of our soul, each thread hosting an infinite amount of memories, fears, doubts, experiences, adventures, loves, failures, successes, and so forth. If we dissect each thread we would easily be able to trace back to the root seed on each one. Some threads will continue to unravel throughout our entire existence, following us as we near mortality, and even thrive beyond our deaths. Others, we either luckily, or foolishly, clip prematurely. Regardless, each and every decision we have ever made, and will continue to make, will continue to thrive in the continuity of everything that falls into place once it has been planted. My family's willingness to hit the road during a time the world seemed to be falling apart, with no plan or goals, beyond getting the heck out of a big city during a pretty scary period, brought us continued unexpected experiences, including an unanticipated move across the country. Our road trip seed will hopefully continue to sprout into adventurous blooms of new homes, new friends, new explorations, and overall new lives. All of these novelties will then continue to continue evolving. Suddenly, life feels to have an endless stretch of continuous years, possibilities, and opportunities. I am in no way boasting about our experiences on the road. Rather, I am actually still quite surprised by my decision to allow the idea to come to life. I faced all my fears of traveling through a world crisis, with no plan, no destination, no end date, with three children in tow. Doing so allowed me to gain more confidence, faith in myself, reliance on a higher power, and has also put me on the courageous track towards continued adventures. Had I chosen to be stuck in my fears, I would have simply remained on a path of continuously missing out on incredible opportunities. Either way, I would have landed on a thread of continuum's spectrum. I am so glad I chose the road of continued adventurous experiences instead of the path of continuous excuses. Not all efforts towards the continuity of positive developments end in the best ways. There are certainly certain things we cannot control that are too obvious to dwell on. Then there are those things we think we can actively control but which do not materialize in the ways that we have hoped. For instance, today was my last day engaging in a monthly community service drive that I spearheaded over the past six years. That is roughly sixty events of bringing community members together to volunteer and support others in every capacity imaginable. Although I am thrilled that the program will continue without me, I am also faced with the decision of whether I want to continue facilitating a similar program in a new city. The harsh reality is that unless we actively pursue continuity in a specific area, the world continues in that aspect without us, all while we just continue our pursuits on another path; a derailment of sorts but always on track to continue whatever it is we nurture. Since analyzing these thoughts that I have been sharing, I am extremely conscious of the continued flow that resonates from everything I think, say, and do. Next time I say something, I will think more consciously of where those words will go and how they will impact the continuum on the thread that they land on. When I hit the snooze button to evade my 5:30 am wake up routine that boosts me with the physical and mental energy I need to get through the day, I will remind myself when crankiness hits mid-afternoon, that by choosing sleep I decided to continue my day without a practice that grounds me. I know that if I choose to communicate with my teens through constant yelling (those of you with teens know how hard it is to refrain from yelling) that I would be continuously creating a rift between us with each shout. I also know that if I continue to view my life as abundant and blessed that my life will be just so. On the flip side, if I choose to focus on all that lacks in my life, I would continuously live a life of struggle and disappointment. Everything we choose absolutely creates a link of continuity on the threads that we are tethered to. There is comfort in knowing that where we are at this point in our lives has a lot to do with the continuity of the patterns we have established. Knowing that we can choose to allow the intricate circumstances in our lives to continue to blossom or to cut their roots entirely, which would essentially allow us to release what does not serve us into continuous dissipation, should feel empowering. We continue towards life and death simultaneously while each of these realities owns its very own real estate on a separate thread in our life. We have the ability to continuously stretch the moments we love and continue to remove the ones we don't until our time comes to an end. Yet, even in death, we continue to live in the hearts and minds of the people we loved and who loved us in return. As you continue to read these last words, look at the patterns that you are continuing in your own life and consider how they will continuously affect you. Each word, each thought, each dream, each gesture, each movie, each book, each friend, each lover, each bite, each dollar...every single thing will have a continuous effect. When writing, I continue to learn so much about my own life. I will continue to urge you to look at the ways that we can all live our best lives because my biggest goal is that we continue to grow and prosper together.

There seems to be an inundation of robots infiltrating our country lately. They have suddenly appeared in droves and seem to be multiplying at a mindblowing pace. Consider taking the survey below to ascertain whether you are at risk of operating like a preprogrammed machine or if you still have functional human parts. All results are confidential and seen only by you. 1) True or False. On #blackouttuesday, you posted a black screen to stand up against the injustices blacks face in our country. Similarly, you rightfully followed along in the hashtag trend du jour and eagerly posted #stopasianhate on your social media accounts. You are a loving human being who stands up against hate bias in support of all marginalized groups. Except, Jews. Your feed was not inundated with blue screens signaling you to stand in solidarity with this group while they encounter heinous attacks throughout the world over the last two weeks, so you didn't dutifully follow up by posting a blue screen. Hey, I get it, you didn't want to be the only one who actually means what they say when they like, totally, hashtag #nomorehate. 2) When popular movements like BLM took hold in our culture, you: a) Immediately stole others' posts that celebrated the organization and reposted them on your own feed loyally responding to society's signals. b) Researched the organization and learned that the co-founders are Marxist trained. c) Assumed that BLM stands for Bureau of Land Management and didn't get what all the fuss was about. 3) True or False. You got vaxed against Covid (congrats!). You were beyond giddy and couldn't wait to post your "I got the shot" sticker all over social media because, like, everyone else does it and you secretly hoped this post would get you your most likes ever! 4) True or False. You stand up for minorities, rightfully, by posting your support on social media. You also take the time to educate yourself on ways to support these groups, learn about their struggles, and donate to organizations that will help empower them by battling biases they are victims of because you know there is so much more work to do than just posting. 5) True or False. You go through your day "going through the motions" plowing through the endless tasks that life demands of you with the only goal being that the day ends so that you can wake up and repeat the process all over again. 6) Vicky is super sweet and goes out of her way to do nice things for her friends and family. She can also be annoying and overbearing. Your mutual friends like to focus on her latter qualities. You: a) Laugh at all the cruel jokes made about Vicky when she isn't around. b) Stand up for Vicky and tell your friends to stop benefiting from her good-naturedness if they are going to make fun of her behind her back. c) Contribute to the conversations by sharing your own examples of how Vicky annoys you. 7) True or False. You think the media delivers honest information and therefore, you formulate many of your ideas around what is presented to you by your chosen news source(s). 8) True or False. You don't want to introduce yourself using a pronoun, so you tell the meeting moderator to fuck off and to refer to you however they think seems fit. Then you openly declare that you refuse to use pronouns in your signature. 9) You're out at dinner getting to know some new friends from work. They chose a new, local vegan restaurant. Although you're craving a steak, like the one you had last night, you kindly accepted the invite. During dinner, the group openly discusses how appalled they are by carnivores who directly threaten the existence of our planet. You: a) Vehemently agree with them and bash all meat-eaters. b) Let the group know that you are not a vegan. c) Nervously admit to your new friends that you regularly eat meat and vow to never eat animal products ever again. 10) True or False. You are taking this survey seriously. Tallying your results: Give yourself 1 point for each answer noted as below. 1. True 2. A 3. True 4. False 5.True 6. A or C 7. True 8. False 9. A 10. True 0-2 points: You are still a solid human being with a brain that operates independently of all outside influences. 3-5 points: You should seek help immediately as your organs are slowly transforming into the mechanical body parts that make for easy robot wiring. . 6-10 points: Turn off your system. Reboot. Return to earth as a human being. The author of this survey is not a psychologist. She (she/her pronouns of choice) is a vegetarian living in a big city that has been infested by programmed and indoctrinated mechanical beings. While some may like to label her, this rare survivor of the human race tends to think outside of a pre-wired box, pushes the envelope, and refuses to become part of a disorderly world run by failing human beings. This woke movement has put everyone to sleep. When is everyone going to wake the fuck up?

"Monogamy is a form of dyadic relationship in which an individual has only one partner during their lifetime", Wikipedia. While the term is mostly used in the context of relationships, people are further expected to remain loyal to one in many aspects of their life: a best friend, a job position, a political party, etc... Let's consider monogamy and the ways that it affects us outside of our marital relationships since this concept has trickled into other aspects of our lives, limiting and suppressing our many desires beyond marriage. Have you ever considered the ways we are inundated with messages that lead us to believe we must be loyal to one concept forever? Isn't it possible to love something (or someone) deeply and yet seek to love more as we, ourselves, evolve in our life journey? How has your own life been limited through the sacrifices you have made in the name of loyalty? As human beings, we are wrongly conditioned to believe that if we truly love something, we must stick with it, forever. A deviation of any kind expresses disloyalty of sorts. I strongly disagree with this theory. I hope that we all strive to change and evolve throughout our life even if those changes require us to make major shifts in our lifetimes. I firmly hold the position that a fulfilling life is one full of risks, challenges, and a willingness to face the discomforts of the unknown. More importantly, seeds towards happiness bloom when we expose ourselves to as many people and experiences as possible. Part of our journey is to reshape ourselves during the different stages of our lives but it is truly impossible to transform if we are expected to stay the same while comfortably holding onto what makes us feel safest. An unchanged person living an unchanged life, in my opinion, is a slow and torturous death. Let me share an example. I genuinely love New York City which has been a wonderful place to call home for the past twenty-three years. I practically grew up here. I established my career and social network here. I raised our three children here. This beautiful city has granted us so many wonderful memories and opportunities. Choosing to leave NYC does not in any way challenge my love or loyalty to it (although many have wrongly made the association in their minds that we must have fallen out of love with the city if we are leaving it). It is absolutely possible to keep this vibrant city in a warm and special place in my heart while allowing myself to grow and experience other places I might equally love as well. If we only permit ourselves to deeply love one thing at a time, does that enhance our lives via a rich connection towards that something/someone or does it hinder our possibilities to fully fall in love with the many other places, people, and opportunities that life brings us? Those of you who know me personally know that I have never been one to have a "best" or "favorite" of anything. As an example, I don't think I have ever used the words "best friend" in my vocabulary. I have many wonderful friends and although I may say someone is "one of my best friends" I have never limited myself to holding just one person in this category. Similarly, I always taught my children to have several really close friends and avoid the "best friend" pressure that other parents impose on their kids. I literally used to cringe when other moms would talk about their four-year-old's best friend. I mean, really, does a young child instinctively choose one best friend, or is this expectation planted by the grownups in their lives that tend to limit themselves? Many of my readers have asked me, "what was your favorite road trip stop?" How can I have one favorite in the multitude of incredible discoveries we made on the road? I'm sure I annoy those asking by responding with a neverending list of favorites broken down by categories. A simple question finds itself listening to a complex and longwinded answer. As you may know, I am an avid reader. Naturally, people ask me what my favorite book is. I am repeatedly stumped when I encounter these inquiries. Not having a favorite genre sure doesn't help. You will never find me easily answering any question that requires me to pick just one of anything. This way of living trickles into everything in my life- even politics. I'm not a democrat or a republican. Each term I'll choose based on who is running and who I think will be the best President for our country at the time. I have never been one to pin myself into any kind of pre-formulated box that is developed to deliver precise and calculated results. I implore you to also keep yourself untethered to any predetermined expectations. Allow yourself to vacillate at your will. Love the many people who touch you and make room for them in your life rather than finding you have too little time to get to know them because you are always with your best friend. Flow in and out of the many places where you will find inspiration and rejuvenation. You heard it from me, you no longer need to deeply love just one person, one book, one city, one food... go crazy loving as much as your heart can handle. Betray the confining system that may keep you in an unhappy relationship, an unfulfilling job, an uneventful life that passes too quickly. Instead, have a deep love affair with everything, everyone, and every place that your heart desires. The beauty of living this way is that once you open that door, you will inevitably discover so much more to life that you never even dreamed was accessible to you. Just because so many people around you are loyal to their unhappiness doesn't mean you need to be as well.

Flagstaff's proximity to Sedona, The Grand Canyon, Route 66, Coconino National Forest, Snowbowl Ski Mountain, and many other attractive places, makes it a great destination for those looking to explore these famous sites. We hit some snow during our first few days (I didn't even know it snows here!),and very cold temperatures, which caused us to make some changes to our itinerary. Nevertheless, we were still able to soak in much of the surrounding beauty that literally appears at every turn. We haven't heard much about Flagstaff and were very pleased with our stay here. The city is charming, full of history, well-kept, and centrally located to many of the more well-known sites. Also, its elevation of 7,000 feet makes it one of the highest elevation cities in the USA! We were very pleasantly surprised by our visit and loved being embraced by the dominating mountain peaks that surround the small city. Below are my TOP FIVE Places to Visit While in Flagstaff: 1. Grand Canyon, South Rim Even the second time around, the Grand Canyon completely mesmerized us. Its vastness is a reminder of how small we are in this great, big universe. On both visits, I left feeling inspired, filled with purpose, and connected to the greater source that creates all these natural wonders in our world. TIP: by 12:30 pm there was a line of cars of at least 1.5 miles long waiting to get into the park. Not only did they have to endure a very long wait time, they surely dealt with lack of parking. This happened during the offseason. Do yourself a favor, and arrive early as we did. You'll breeze right in, find parking in a sinch, and won't have to share the viewpoints with hundreds of others squeezing in to get their selfies. The early bird does get the worm! We decided to drive through the following lookout points: Yaki Point( this was closed off to buses and employees when we arrived) Moran Point Desert View Lipan Point Grandview Point Mather Point The Abyss Yavapai Point Hermit’s Rest Pima Point Following this route will give you many different vantage points of the striking red canyons and gorges. Lipan Point has the best views of the Colorado River. Mather Point was the most crowded. Desert View overlooks the site where the most egregious plane accident in US History took place. Each lookout point has its own unique, distinct character so you'll want to try to visit as many of them as possible. It's no wonder that The Grand Canyon is one of the seven wonders of the natural world. Sprawling at 277 miles long, the rock formations that were once under sea level, seem to stretch into infinity. The colors of the canyons are truly spectacular and at 7,000 feet of elevation, your brain will have a hard time processing the surreal vision before you. 2. Coconino Natural Forest This wondrous place awaits your exploration just 25 minutes away from Flagstaff. The natural forest will take you through quick changes in landscapes from desert vistas painted in hues of reds and oranges to the blackest earth kissed by lava from a massive volcanic eruption that occurred 800 years ago. The transformations in the landscape are hard to describe, you'll need to experience it for yourself to process the stark contrasts with equally captivating beauty. I suggest you get in your car, drive to this national park, and just drive through it for as long as you can while making the marked stops along the way. Below are some main highlights. Sunset Crater Volcano National Monument Approximately one mile past the Coconino Natural Forest entrance gate, you'll see a sign on the right to enter this park blanketed in endless lava rocks and the blackest earth for miles ahead that are the remains of a volcanic eruption. There are well-marked paths that will lead you through the crater and the weaving trails through the lava rock formations. The Lava Flow Trail is an easy one-mile loop walk through unimaginable landscapes. Wupatki National Monument Fifteen miles further into the park will transport you to the year 1100 when the Puebloan peoples inhabited the expansive region of Wupatki. There are several remaining structures still intact proudly sharing the impressive masonry, organized town planning, and even remains of homages paid to various spirits. Visitors are permitted to enter the structures to fully imagine what life was like here for the Wupatkis. This is an unbelievable experience not to be missed and equally exciting for all ages. Painted Desert Vista Make sure to pull over to soak in the stunning views at this overlook. The horizon is lined with endless desert landscapes that pop with the colors of clay and earth. 3. Route 66 Don't miss out on a quick and easy drive down the mother road known as Route 66. You can take a ten-minute drive outside of Downtown Flagstaff and hop from one historic site to another. Many of the original buildings built in the 1950s still stand intact and in their original, quirky forms. Many of them like Miz Zip, Western Hills Motel, Motel 66, and The Museum Club, are still perfectly preserved, although the latter has since converted from a former museum into a nightclub. It's fun to drive by and imagine all the en-route trucks that would stop here for lodging or a quick bite as they were transporting goods across the country. 4. Historic Downtown Flagstaff Downtown Flagstaff is a truly quaint American town that only spans a few, short blocks. This super small square is packed with history, shops full of personality, beautiful architecture, and great restaurants. It really is adorable. Despite its small size it really delivers everything a local would need from great cafes and bakeries to unique boutiques and historic hotel bars. We loved walking around here and I know you will too! 5. Sedona The spectacular city of Sedona is a stunning forty-minute drive from Flagstaff. Route 89 will take you on a scenic ride through windy roads at high elevations. The views continue to escalate into a beautiful ascendo of non-stop picturesque perfection. Sedona is one of my favorite cities in the country. Unfortunately, it seems like many others have discovered it as well. Compared to March of 2017, when we last visited, the crowd size grew enormously causing parking and traffic to be disastrous. We had long waits at the various trails' parking lots as well. TIP: go as early in the day as you can to beat the swarms of hikers wanting to get in on the vortex action and epic opportunities to connect with nature. Sedona rightfully earns its popularity with visitors from all over the world. We are thrilled that it is a short seven-hour drive from San Diego, where we will be moving to this summer. I have vivid images of the time I will spend here again, and again, and again. There truly is nowhere else like it in the country. Cathedral Rock Cathedral Rock is one of the most photographed rock formations in red rock country. It is a rather short hike (.7 miles) but rather difficult to climb due to its quick 600 feet of ascension. Native Americans revere this site as the birthplace of the first man and woman. It is also one of the four sites in Sedona that harbor healing, spiritual, and trippy vortex energy. Don't miss out on this wonderous spot and make sure to arrive early to avoid long waits in the parking lot. Bell Rock Bell Rock is yet another well-recognized rock formation in the Sedona skyline that also exudes the much-sought after vortex energy that many come to absorb. I really love this park in Sedona. There are almost four miles of trails to hike and bike. If you just want to climb the rocks on Bell Rock that'll just take one mile of your time. The views around this site are breathtaking. You're likely to find yourself wanting to explore as many of the trails as possible. This lot was full by afternoon as well, so, again, arrive as early in the day as you can to avoid the crowds. Downtown Sedona, AKA Uptown The Main Street in Sedona is jam-packed with all sorts of shops that beautifully blend into the landscape. In my humble opinion, this is the nicest "downtown" in the USA and easily wins this title for its perfectly situated location hugged by red rocks. Yes, the surrounding views are spectacular but the shops deserve attention too. Here you'll find a wide range of art galleries, crystal shops, and restaurants which all ooze an artsy, laid-back, and just down-right cool vibe. Spend some time strolling the wide sidewalks, shopping, and getting lost in the various nooks along the way. A Day in the West Jeep Ride For a fun adventure, in-depth learning of the land, and the absolute most insanely, ridiculously stunning scenery, you must book a tour with A Day in the West Jeep Tours. They offer many different excursion types and lengths. We opted for the two-hour Gabmbler Trail which took us through a fun, bumpy ride on one of their hummers inside a box canyon surrounded by loads of significant rock formations and jaw-dropping desert landscape. We were loaded up with facts on Sedona's history, lists of celebrities who live in the area, stories of significant and spiritual spots to the Native Americans, and even experienced first-hand the strong sensations emitting off two vortex sites. This private jeep tour was definitely a highlight of our trip. One day soon we will return to set up tents to camp in this magical part of the desert because a two-hour drive through was simply not enough. Lodging We had a difficult time finding a well-appointed, available property in Flagstaff. Everything was booked! I was hesitant to book this Airbnb property because it had no ratings and I usually steer away from homes with no reviews. Because the property management company had fantastic reviews, and I also had no other options, I booked this house and am so happy that we did! The house is spotless, beautifully decorated, spacious, private, and smells so good! The pictures do not do it justice. We absolutely loved this home that boasts four bedrooms (including two HUGE master bedrooms), a game room and den, a fully stocked kitchen, and a selection of brand new game boards. This is a perfect choice for your Flagstaff lodging. Dining Since Flagstaff isn't exactly known for its food scene, we didn't have high expectations. Yet, we were actually really surprised by the consistency of the great meals we experienced. There are many well-reviewed restaurants in the downtown area and one of them (see below) stood out as one of the best of our road trip. Pizzicletta, Flagstaff For outstanding pizza, with a perfect, crispy crust, order some pies from Pizzicletta. They don't have a large menu but it's the quality of their offerings that truly stand out. We ordered a couple of Margherita pizzas and a mascarpone, sage, and honey pie that was soooo good. We also munched on their green salad, which was packed with fresh greens, and their burrata and date appetizer. This is a wonderful take-out option in the area. Josephine's Modern American Bistro, Flagstaff Josephine's offers American fare with a twist. Lots of meat and seafood options are on the menu, but you'll find some Mexican and French-inspired dishes as well. Close to downtown Flagstaff, with a lovely patio, this restaurant is a solid choice when in the area. We ordered a couple of salads which were paired with delicious homemade dressings, a fondue queso dip (minus the chorizo), short ribs, steak, cornmeal-crusted calamari, and butternut squash risotto. Everything was fresh, well-prepared, and enjoyable. Shift Kitchen & Bar, Flagstaff This is exactly the kind of place that deserves more mention and attention. This tiny establishment serves delicious food straight from the open, exposed kitchen to your table. Diners can watch the chefs in action, up close, as they carefully time your dishes to arrive at an endless flow of delectable fare. The menu, like the space, is small and the dishes are meant to be shared. Shift Kitchen & Bar will truly shift your approach toward dining, and maybe even cooking, through the inspiration and creativity woven into the fresh ingredients. We couldn't resist ordering almost every dish on the menu: the breadboard, the crispy Brussel sprouts in smoked ranch, the pickled french fries with secret sauce, the charcoal roasted beetroot with coriander honey, the toasted sunflower seed risotto with puffed grains, apricots, and egg, the smashed potatoes with kimchi purree and Aleppo pepper (ordered 2 of these!), the Tagliatelle alla Puttanesca, and the shift burger with a fried egg on it. To end the meal we jumped on the opportunity to dig into the almond cake with caramel buttercream, chocolate ganache, hazelnuts, and banana gelato. This is the kind of place that makes me want to enroll in culinary school. Like, today. Shorebird, Sedona You would never expect fresh seafood and sushi in the middle of the desert yet Shorebird masterfully pulls off fresh and delicious seafood dishes. This new, upscale restaurant was filled with well-dressed diners in its modern space. Rest assured, feel free to roll in from an excursion covered in red dust and gym clothes as we did. No one will bat an eye. We were really impressed by the chef's usage of ingredients and beautiful presentations. The towered chicken wings were an artistic masterpiece! Some notable and creative dishes need to be mentioned as you won't find them anywhere else: avocado battered french fries in green goddess dressing, beet and strawberry salad with goat cheese (the beets are sliced thinly and topped with the other ingredients, we thought they were mini tortillas!), and the most delicious buffalo onion rings topped with blue cheese crumbles and housemade buttered hot sauce. The more common menu items were uncommonly delectable: sesame seared tuna tataki with pickled red Fresno chili, ginger dressing and black sesame, yellowtail and ahi tuna nigiri that melts right into your mouth, truly delicious grilled swordfish tacos with cabbage and kale slaw, and equally incredible skirt steak tacos. After a full day of exploring Sedona, you'll be happy to end your day with a perfect meal here. Flagstaff was an accidental find yet one of our best discoveries on the trip. There are so many wrong assumptions we make in life and Flagstaff has debunked a few of them. We thought it didn't snow in Arizona. We never imagined that people ski in Arizona. We thought Flagstaff's biggest draw was UFO sightings. We thought Flagstaff would be occupied by a bunch of weird, gun-bearing Americans. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Flagstaff is a city worth exploring and its excellent access to so many sites would make it almost irresponsible of you to avoid. So, drop those assumptions, get in your car, and just drive. You'll learn more on the road about the country than you ever would in your mind or on your television screen.

Although I am not an expert in psychology, I believe I have some useful insights to share with you that have developed over the course of the past fourteen months of being completely removed from the life I have known. I have spent these last months restructuring my life, reformatting my thinking patterns, and really turning myself inside out to find a place of balance, serenity, and joy in my life. Stepping away from my social circle, my home, and all my comfort zones provided me with plenty of time to reflect and work towards some much-needed self-improvement. Although on paper I always had everything I could ever dream of, 2017-2019 propelled me into some not-so-great places in my headspace. There were so many wonderful things happening in my life throughout these years yet I seemed to obsess on the ways friends during that period truly, deeply hurt me. I was in a rut. No matter what I accomplished or how much love I was surrounded by, I was determined to fixate on those who I felt wronged me. I spent those years blaming myself for things I did not do, closing myself off to those around me in anticipation of them failing me too, self-victimizing, and just being overall not my happiest self. I sadly became mistrusting of others as well. Launching into isolation during the pandemic served me as a welcomed blessing by providing me with ample time to think, correct, and reset. Below I share with you my personal tips on finding true happiness through liberation from all that bogged me down. I'm really thrilled to share with you a year's worth of difficult self-exploration work broken down into fifteen concise tips that I guarantee will change your life immensely if you are willing to incorporate them into your daily practices as well. 1. Spend More Time in Nature. As a city girl, I rarely spent time in nature. I was petrified of bears, bees, hunters, ticks, lurking murderers hiding in forests, chupacabra...The list is endless. On our road trip, we started to spend more time outdoors since most indoor activities were closed during the pandemic. Our first encounter with nature began with bike rides through the swamps of Hilton Head. The Jurassic Park-like landscape lured us to take longer rides through the Spanish moss-soaked trees and massive oaks. My confidence slowly built and before I knew it I was cheerfully waving to the alligators we rode by just as I would to my New York City neighbors. Next were the trails of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Trekking its stunning trails truly challenged me as we visited in September when bears are actively fattening up in preparation for winter. During the hikes when we seemed to be the only souls in sight, yes, my heart beat a little faster, and horrible images of being mauled by bears constantly crept into my thoughts. Yet, after completing these hikes I always found myself rewarded by feelings of rejuvenation and longing for more time embraced by trees, the crackling of fallen leaves, and the most comforting silence. So there we were embarking, again and again, on trails throughout the USA. Whether they were nine-mile treacherous trails in Telluride, three-mile trails through the slot canyons of Utah or two-mile trails along the ominous Oregon coast, I suddenly found myself always craving to be with nature. Nature brings you closer to divinity. It leaves you in awe. It humbles you. It challenges you to prove to yourself that you are capable of everything. Nature will heal you. It will help peel away your fears, mostly by forcing you to face them. Submerging in nature ignites big questions about purpose, life, goals. The lakes and streams offer moments of self-reflection with the natural reflections they provide. Nature will literally stand by your side and reflect with you. The mountain peaks stand with you as you go through your peaks and valleys. The crashing waves cry with your pounding heart. The barren deserts show you endless possibilities. The skies loyally follow you wherever you go and never leave your side. Snow will transform your nostalgia for childhood by magically turning you into a child again. The stars will gently remind you of how tiny you are in the grand scheme of things while also whispering the endless possibilities available to you. Rainbows shoot jolts of love straight into your heart while the setting sun pumps it with gratitude. The rain mentors you as you search within yourself and coaches you into entering tomorrow's sunny day better prepared. The tall cliffs teach you to pause. The pods of dolphins on the horizon remind you to smile. The warm seas purify your soul. There is nothing, absolutely nothing that will change your life more deeply than immersing yourself in nature. The more time you spend with it, the more positive changes you will see in yourself. I promise that eventually, you will hear it speaking directly to you and answering most of your questions. In my experience, spending time with nature regularly is the most crucial step you can take towards finding inner peace and happiness. 2. Prune Bad Relationships. As a result of being completely removed from my circle of friends and acquaintances while traveling through the country, I really had some time to reflect on many of my friendships. I have learned that I held on to many friendships because I either felt bad cutting them off or I found it difficult to let go of the memories we made together. I spent too much time wondering why certain friends never extended invitations to us, while always accepting our invites. I also contemplated silly things like why certain people wouldn't respond to a text, or care enough to follow our road trip journey either through my blog, or Instagram account. I mean, they came over for many dinners and soirees, shouldn't they be interested in my big adventure? My mind just went to all these useless places whenever I thought of them. They didn't make me feel good about myself. They often made me feel used and unappreciated yet I needlessly sought their approval and affection. With a lot of time and effort, I mustered up the courage to stop reaching out to everyone that has made me wonder too often if they truly valued my friendship and whether they appreciated my generosity. Not surprisingly, these folks never reached out to me either. Since letting them go, I no longer have to dwell on the negative thoughts that weighed me down whenever I thought of them. I had a very hard time accepting that sometimes friends just grow apart or that those I considered good friends did not feel the same way about me. It's been gratifying to focus on spending time with friends who I truly know love me, want the best for me, and understand me with all my quirks. I'm disappointed in myself for allowing myself to focus so immensely, for so long, on those who did not treat me well but I am also proud of myself for finally cutting the chord of those very relationships that made me feel bad about myself. If you find yourself complaining, crying over, or even gossiping about a friend often, this is not a true friendship. There are also those so-called friends who are obviously threatened by your successes and clearly try to compete with you, or the friends who you cannot be honest with because you know they will take things too personally or get defensive, or the friends who cannot remove themselves from the purposeless drama that they obsessively dwell on and invite into their lives, or the friends who when you share that you are making a huge move to the west coast immediately respond with "will you be buying or renting there?" because their capacity to dream and take risks is limited... you get the point. Make no space for people who don't understand you or help you become the best version of yourself. Limit your time with people who cannot fathom changes or transformations or they will try to limit your aspirations. It is absolutely possible to maintain communication with these questionable friends by bumping them into the category of close acquaintances, just don't invest too much time or effort into people that don't inspire you, understand you, and support you. Setting many unfulfilling relationships aside allowed me to also set aside harmful feelings and ultimately cleared the way to focus on the friends who make me feel good. Our time is extremely limited. Focus on the friends who are secure enough in their own life decisions and don't need to compare their life to yours, focus on friends who inspire you, focus on friends who genuinely love you, focus on friends who are on the same path of self-improvement as you are, focus on friends who have similar values and aspirations so that you can be a source of encouragement to one another. Focus on friends who fulfill you not fatigue you. 3. Make a Drastic Change in Your Life. Yes, that's right. Make a drastic change in your life in order to drastically change (and I don't mean get a new haircut). You will never live your best life within the safety net of complacency. We all fall into patterns where our routine feels safe and comforting even when we know deep down inside that we could experience so much more if we just allowed ourselves to. We often follow the same patterns of convincing ourselves why we shouldn't pursue our hopes and dreams (lack of money, saving for the future, lack of time, etc...) I'm imploring you, based on my personal experience, to change jobs, change cities, change your direction entirely- just make any transition that will make you nervous, afraid, and hesitant so that when you finally do make that shift you can feel victorious, successful, and ready to take on anything. Too many people let life slip away and put their dreams on hold for a day that may never come. Taking big risks in your life will yield big results, mainly a new phase in life when you will feel exhilarated and rejuvenated. The best thing I ever did was leave my comfort zone and take the risk of traveling the USA during a global pandemic with no plan, no friends, no vaccine, and burning through enough of our savings to put a hefty down payment on a beautiful, new house. The fears that almost kept me from living this dream adventure are gone, along with the money spent on our road trip, but the memories are more priceless than any home we could have ever built. The risks we took on the road have encouraged us to take on many more. It feels fantastic to be afraid again. It feels beautifully unsettling to not know what awaits us on the other side of the country as we get ready to move to the west coast. I have had butterflies in my stomach for the past thirteen months of my life because I allowed myself to make a drastic change of leaving home, then traveling the country, and now changing coasts. We could have easily stayed put in New York City for those thirteen months we left it, saving each penny during an unprecedented era, remaining safe in our apartment where we would be protected from the impending virus (which I was petrified of at the onset by the way). Luckily, we were able to break through the physical and mental lockdowns that would have kept us chained to our routine lives. Make that drastic change and fall in love with life. Allow yourself to approach the unknown, to live unconventionally, to follow your dreams no matter how scary they seem. I can attest, from personal experience, that facing one fear at a time will slowly begin to unravel a routine life and launch you into a life of wonder, excitement, and well-serving uncertainty. 4. Read Books That Inspire You and Give You the Tools to be the Best Version of Yourself. Filling your mind with fantastic guidance towards self-improvement, inspiring teachings of great thinkers, images of big dreams and goals, as well the influential words of people who share their stories of insurmountable accomplishments, truly will shape the way you think and approach your life. Just like we are what we eat, we also are what we think. Pack that brain of yours with the knowledge that fuels creative and powerful thoughts that will encourage you to live your best life as a wonderful human being. Here are some of my favorites that helped me evolve over the past year: "The Fourth Agreement" - Don Miguel Ruiz "The Fifth Agreement" - Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari" - Robin Sharma "The Secret" - Rhonda Byrne "The Journey Within" - Radhanath Swami "The Fountain Head" - Ayn Rand "Many Lives, Many Masters" - Brian Weiss 5. Live Generously and Engage in Thoughtful Gestures Each and Every Day. Nothing brings more joy than making someone else happy. Whether you simply take the extra few seconds to hold the elevator for an approaching person, text a friend an encouraging message, or even send someone you love a surprise gift, the warm reactions you will receive in return supersedes any joy you can experience elsewhere. People are sadly not accustomed to random acts of kindness, you will see this in their reactions to you when you carry these acts out. You may notice the recipient squirm, question the gesture, and even resist accepting your kindness, but ultimately, once they process the circumstance, you'll notice the sparkle in their eyes and the happiness in their smile. Engaging in thoughtful gestures towards others is the only act I can think of that so beautifully fulfills the giver and the receiver mutually. Make it a practice each day to compliment someone on their appearance, or thank a staff member for a job well done, or buy a cup of coffee for the person in line behind you, or treat your friend to lunch, or support a cause that your friend cares about.... the list of ways to participate in a generous lifestyle is endless. When you make it a habit to be thoughtful of others regularly, you will be rewarded with daily bursts of happiness in return. It's that simple. This tip is probably the most simple and least time-consuming way to ensure experiencing joy in your life every single day. 6. Do the Opposite of Whatever Everyone Else is Doing. If you're doing what everyone else is doing then by default you are living a safe, measured life and not taking the risks you should be to live your fullest life. My message to you is to be different. My life has been so rewarding and fulfilling because I consciously decide, whenever possible, to do the exact opposite of what others are doing. The less treaded territory has almost always been the place that I have found happiness because the road less traveled truly delivers the most unexpected treasures. Humans sensibly feel most safe blending with crowds, traveling in herds. It's comforting to know that there is support in the successes and failures we share with others. It feels safe to make choices that are similar to the ones of our neighbors and friends. But, there is something extremely inhibiting about following the status quo. Write your own unusual script, despite how scary or lonely it may feel. Feeling unsafe and uncertain is healthy sometimes. Allow yourself to enter these spaces. They will ultimately take you somewhere much better than where you started off. I write more about not following the masses in this article. 7. Spend Time With Friends. We were away from our close circle of friends since the onset of the pandemic. I never realized how much I missed social interactions until we hit a city where we had a friend or two to meet up with. Each time I reconnected with an old pal I felt satiated and truly happy. Those rare meetings with friends while on the road were a celebratory event that made me realize that although at first I convinced myself otherwise, hanging out with people you love regularly is an important part of a happy life. Once we arrived back in New York City I made sure to fill my calendar with as many dates with friends as possible. Firstly, I knew my time with them was limited since we will be moving soon. Secondly, I learned how much I missed them during the year we were essentially friends-free while on the road. So, my advice to you is to meet up with a friend as often as you can. There is nothing like making memories with people who love you and who you love equally in return. 8. Make No Room for Gossip. Just as I recommend reading books that boost your life by filling your mind with positive thinking patterns, I equally recommend making no room for caustic, negative, and hurtful comments made about other people. When you allow yourself to engage in gossip, you are permitting negative energy to permeate your mental space which will inevitably dilute your progress towards becoming a loving and compassionate human being. Those who gossip about others will gossip about you as well. By communicating that you do not want to participate in a meaningless conversation, not only will you block useless conversations from your life but you will also be teaching the other person how to treat you. Since our bandwidth is so limited, do we really want to make room for such idle and corrosive discourse? 9. Keep a Gratitude Journal. Taking the time to reflect on the daily occurrences that you are grateful for really will propel you into a life of gratitude and ultimate fulfillment. When you sit there with a pen in hand each day thinking "what am I grateful for today?" you begin to feel blessed for things often taken for granted like waking up that morning. You also begin to notice things you may have overlooked had you not taken the time to reflect on your day. This is a powerful exercise as the more time you take jotting down moments of gratitude, the more you begin to feel grateful for things that never even occurred to you. When you realize all the ways that your life is blessed you suddenly view your life as abundant and plentiful in every aspect. There is no greater fulfillment than knowing you have everything you need. 10. Refrain From Engaging With Anyone "Too" Anything. The recent political climate has been one of the most divisive events that I can point to in my lifetime. We should all be able to speak and vote freely without the fear of repercussions, ostracization, or cancellation. Most people are extremely respectful of other people's opinions, even if they differ from their own. There is a small, but loud, group of folks that are so extreme in their points of view that they unknowingly become vile. Whether they are "too left" or "too right" on the political spectrum, or "too pro-animal rights" (think PETA throwing red paint at fur wearers), or "too pro-life" (to the point of murdering doctors who provide abortions), these people are poisonous. Anyone who is too extreme is too much for me. Staying away from them and refusing to engage in any conversation with them has served me well. They march with anger, not love. They serve to divide, not love. They force their ideas upon you and ridicule you if you don't concede. Stay away from any form of extremism. 11. Create More Time in Your Day. My entire life I relished my sleep. When presented with options, sleep always won. I never imagined that I would one day be setting my alarm to start my day at 5:30 am. I have been owning my weekday mornings since January. It is possibly one of the most impactful changes I have made in my daily routine. I found myself often complaining that I didn't have the time to do some of the things I always wanted to. I realized that in order to have time to do these things I would need to make time in my schedule. Waking up earlier is the only way I could obtain more time in my day and so that's what I have been doing! There are countless benefits to starting the day this early. For one, I have the whole house to myself while everyone is sleeping, without any distractions. I use this time to meditate, journal, and watch an educational video or TedTalk. At 7:00 am I head to the gym for an hour. By 8:30 am I am showered and dressed ready to start the day armored with gratitude, inspiration, and a great fitness regimen. Exercising is a crucial element to my own happiness. Even while we were exploring the country in the most beautiful of places, if I was not exercising, I was not myself. There was a period of several months while we were on the road that I dropped working out from my routine. No matter how incredible our sightseeing experiences were, I just didn't feel like me when I stopped taking care of my body in this way. Exercise is not only crucial for its obvious health benefits, it also clears your mind, releases stress, zones you out, and most importantly pushes you to break through boundaries. Those very moments that you are convinced you can't push any further, but yet you manage to anyway, leave you feeling undefeated. Each day that you spend lifting an extra pound of weights or running just one-minute longer is a day where you have proven to yourself that you can. Create more hours in your day by waking up earlier too. 12. Consume Less, Discover More. When we returned home after nine months of only needing half a suitcase's worth of space, I was literally nauseous when I looked in my closet. So many clothes, shoes, and bags just for one person. Yuck. After the shock subsided I began to obsessively clear out closets and was pretty disgusted by how many things we accumulated over the years. I gave away hundreds of books to friends and neighbors as well as dozens of items that were still in their original boxes or with their tags still on. So far we have thrown out endless extra-large trash bags filled with garbage. The funny thing is, we aren't even hoarders nor is our apartment filled with tchotchkes. We like our space nice, clean, and clutter-free. Somehow all this stuff made its way into our closets and many of the items never even saw the light of day. Don't spend your money on things. Save your money for wonderful travel experiences, extending acts of kindness unto others, cultural experiences, whatever it is you dream of... I really thought my Gucci bag made me happy until I visited The Grand Canyon. Now, when I put on my Valentino shoes, I crave for the dirty and tattered sneakers that carried me on an eight-mile hike with an elevation of thousands of feet. While my Valentinos made me feel pretty, those sneakers helped me prove to myself that I can do so much more than I ever gave myself credit for. We have convinced ourselves that we want and need materialistic things to find happiness. Take it from me, someone who now hates to admit having a closet sprinkled with designer clothing, the most beautiful I have felt in my life was when I was covered in mud and torn athletic gear after completing a thirteen-mile Spartan race or when I traversed through the deserts or mountain peaks of our country in torn sneakers. These are the best days of my life, not the days I wore a Prada dress. Although I won't throw my wardrobe away, I am pretty certain that I will rarely invest in these luxuries moving forward. Now that I have been introduced to exploration and discovery, I am convinced that these are truly the biggest extravagances in life. Remember, that even the most wealthy people don't have access to these luxuries because they are too busy working to prove their worth or too occupied in saving for their future. Discovering the world, and in return, finding yourself is an experience that is available to everyone, including you, if you decide to explore, discover and awaken. 13. Become Friends With Death. Yes, I believe that one of the keys to a happy life is by including a healthy dose of death in your daily routine. Every day, I am consciously aware that I can die that very day. I often think of when my time will come to say goodbye to the life I love living. Death is inevitable, we all know that, but many of us avoid thinking about it. My advice to you is to think about it often but not in a fearful way that induces anxiety. Instead, inhale healthy dosages that nudge you to live your life fully. Knowing that each day could very well be my last drives me to live my best possible day. Realizing that I may not be alive in five years allows me to think about the present and not consume myself with the future. The concept of death has been a good friend to me, constantly pushing me to live fully, grasp tightly, love deeply, and experience all that I can in life. I know, that for myself, if I didn't have death on my mind every single day, I would quickly fall into a much more complacent life where each moment would be taken for granted and pushing dreams off for an unpromised tomorrow would be a norm. So rather than fearing death, I thank it for encouraging me to live honestly, say what's on my mind, love fully, give generously, travel often, eat great food, talk to anybody and everybody, push my limits, learn new things, not place too much emphasis on money or stuff, spend as much time with my kids as humanely possible, and make wonderful memories for as long as I am alive and healthy. My relationship with death is one of my greatest drivers in life. I encourage you to make friends with it as well. 14. Stop Seeking Your Purpose in Life. There is a strong movement directing people to find their purpose in life. I have found this to be a huge source of pressure and dissent in my own life. When we are forced to believe that we are on this planet for some greater cause we can easily fall into feeling helpless and insufficient. While I have accomplished some wonderful successes in my career life, I always focused on finding my greater calling leaving me feeling that everything I have mastered wasn't enough when confronting my so-called higher purpose in the universe. Letting go of these overwhelming expectations, and instead focusing on my journey of continuously evolving into the best human being I can be, and living my life as fully as possible, has freed me from chasing a murky goal, and allowed me to instead hone in on valuable life tools that are more realistically attainable. You don't need to be the next person who builds an orphanage in Africa. Just be a kind human, respect our planet, give to charity and others, and celebrate each moment that you are alive to live and love. Our purpose is quite simple, really. 15. Perceive Your Problems as Good Problems. A friend taught me this concept which has become instrumental in how I view the problems that arise in my life. When I catch myself complaining to myself about how busy I am, I quickly say to myself "thank goodness I am busy and that I have a sense of purpose and that I am needed". During the last year or so of remote schooling when I am in the kitchen cooking three meals a day, I often bitch to myself about being thrown into the role of a housekeeper and chef (on top of all the other hats I wear), but I immediately remind myself that I am so blessed to have been given this extra time with my children and wouldn't have it any other way. When I face those moments of freaking out that we are moving to a city that made number two on Bloomberg's recent list of cities with the highest real estate price increases, I convince myself of how fortunate we are to be able to move to such a desirable city. Catch yourself complaining and then teach yourself to turn that complaint into a compliment of sorts. This habit is life-changing.

Boobs. Yup. This word will conjure up different images in each of you. Some of you clicked on this post imagining an article filled with sexual innuendo and perhaps hoped for pictures of voluptuous breasts. For others, you may be thinking of someone you know who has endured breast cancer and wanted to read more. Perhaps you have been considering breast implants and are eager to see whether this article will cover that topic. Many of you may be thinking this article will cover ways to deal with some of the ridiculously foolish people you have crossed paths with during your life. Dozens of you may be curious about what crazy topic I will cover again below. Just one word with many different meanings. Each of you brings your own perspective and interest in defining this word. As a result, you have all clicked on this page with extremely different expectations. This article does not cover breasts or silly human beings. It instead covers the notion that we all have varying ideas and perspectives, even towards just one word. That brings me to my main point. Your name, which really encompasses you, evokes completely different feelings in those you interact with. If you think about it in these terms, we really all are just abstract concepts. We are a myriad of different personalities to those we encounter. Let's take me for instance. For some, my direct and honest approach is refreshing, and even appreciated, while for others it is obnoxious and over the top. Some may find me to be inspiring and motivating while others will view me as trying to show off or brag. Many who know me consider me as one who lives an authentic and genuine life yet I am sure some think I am inauthentic and overcompensating in one way or another. While a lot of folks view me as confident, in the eyes of others I am overbearing. Because everyone views me based on their own life experiences, views of themselves, and the lens they wear, I float through the universe in many different forms. So do you. This realization is crucial because many of us strive to please those around us. We have embarked on an endless quest to gain the approval of others. This is an impossible task that will never be fulfilled simply by the very fact that humans all see the world around them through their own points of view. Everyone around you will react entirely differently towards you based on their own personal perceptions. Once you absorb this concept, it's easy to understand that the only person you need to please is yourself. Are you happy in your own skin? Do your intentions feel pure? Are you a kind and generous human being? Do you face your fears and follow your dreams? Does love guide your decisions? Do you treat others well? Are you charitable? Are you honest? Do you live your best life? Do you have fun? Do you respect the planet? Do you practice gratitude? Do you cherish your body? These are a tiny fraction of some of the ideals we all aspire to as human beings. As long as we know that we are on track to be the best versions of ourselves, that is all that truly matters. You have nothing to prove to others. Realistically, even if you tried, they won't see it the same way you hoped they would so don't even bother trying. Say your name out loud for a moment. Seriously, say it. Think about how your name supplicates so many ideas in the minds of those around you. You are not who everyone thinks you are. You will never be who you want everyone to think you are. You can only be who you want to be through your eyes and in your skin. Spending time worrying about how others perceive you is a moot point. You will never have everyone around you perceive you in the same way. Never. Rather than chasing this endless battle, start sitting with your name more often so that when people call your name, you like what it arouses in you. How do you feel when you say your name out loud? Apologies to those of you who wanted more information on the female anatomy. Perhaps one day I will aim to write about a more scientific topic. Today though, I urge you to contemplate the idea that you actually do not exist in the form you believed you have been living. You are a thousand different things to a thousand different people. By the time people digest your personality, you are barely an inkling of where you hoped to be. You get lost in translation every single day. Those around us extract whatever they need from our traits and characteristics to satiate their own natural processing needs. Return to the concrete place where you are you, the real you, as well as the you that you aspire to be, and hold on to this place for yourself. Create a space where you can live in the way you want without any concerns about how others respond to you. The only perception of you that you can control is your own one. When I think about my name being tossed around and the countless associations that people have with it, I obviously would like the majority of people to have positive images when they hear it being said. Yet, I also know, and accept, that there are those who have negative feelings when my name comes up. For once, finally, I can be unapologetic to those who have their own insecurities to work through and their own lenses to defog. As long as I continue to demand of myself to live my most honest, compassionate, charitable, and adventurous life, I cannot be bogged down by those who interpret these goals differently. It took a year's worth of work to get here, self-evolvement sure is a journey! The ultimate destination of being happy in our own skin, without others' opinions of us affecting us, is well worth the effort though. Send me your name. I'd love to hear you say it out loud as you type it on your keyboard. I hope you will be smiling when you do so and if not, I truly hope that one day soon you will get to this point. If you are a subscriber to my blog then I know we have been evolving together and our journeys are similar. Knowing this will surely make me smile when I hear your name come through.

It's been so wonderful to return to New York City after thirteen months of leaving home, nine of which were spent on the road exploring the USA. One of the best things about coming back is reconnecting with friends who have asked many inquisitive questions about our experience on the road. Below is a list of the top 10 road trip myths that most of the people who heard our story seem to have in common. Myths vs Facts: "People in red states don't wear masks". This is completely untrue and quite frankly irresponsible misinformation by the media. We witnessed firsthand that people in "blue" cities like Asheville, NC were mostly unmasked, even at the start of the pandemic, while residents of "red" states, like Texas, had most of its folks' faces covered. People simply work within their personal comfort zones despite their political points of view. As much as the media is trying to pin people against one another based on politics, it just isn't true. This realization is probably one of the most shocking ones of our travels throughout the country. Seeing is believing, and I don't mean what you see on the news. "RV's are the preferred road trip means of transportation". You don't need to drive around in an RV to take a proper road trip. Although there is an exciting element to traveling this way, it's not for everyone. A road trip can be as glamorous or off the grid as you want it to be. We chose to stay in well-appointed Airbnbs while on the road but we do have dreams of one day driving through parts of the country in a Winnebago. This time around we needed our children to have solid Internet connectivity for remote schooling as well as their own bedrooms to have the space for their zoom meetings. Under other circumstances, we may have picked different accommodations. What I hear most from people is that they can't imagine traveling in an RV for long periods of time. Well, you don't have to! "Scary rednecks lurk the highways waiting to abduct you". You're unlikely to cross paths with toothless, armed rednecks threatening your safety. People are (mostly) normal, kind, and helpful. Through all our stops in many random gas stations in remote parts of the country, we never felt as if we stood out or were in any jeopardy. Leave the dramatization to Hollywood executives and don't let these imageries deter you from exploring the roads. Some of my best memories are from those very moments I interacted and locked eyes with people with deep, southern drawls who live a life completely different than the one I am accustomed to. Get to know people outside of their society-imposed titles and stereotypes. They'll surprise you. "It's dangerous to travel during Covid". While on the road we often felt like we were chasing Corona. We always seemed to be heading to the very places that had spiking cases. Yet, we were able to travel through the states safely by wearing our masks, social distancing, spending time outdoors as much as possible, and staying away from crowded areas. See my post on "How to Travel Safely During the Pandemic". It is totally possible to travel during a pandemic if you use your common sense. "Taking a road trip with kids is difficult". There is no way I would have ever enjoyed this road trip as much as I did without my children. Not only are children more adaptable and resilient than we give them credit for, but they also exude a sense of wonder and freedom which are perfect qualities in your road trip mates. Children approach situations with a different lens than the jaded ones adults often wear. They are honest and blunt. They are funny. They are adventurous. Unless your children are especially difficult, bringing your kids along will only enhance your journey. "You need special gear for a road trip." The only special equipment that we specifically purchased for our time on the road was: a first aid kit, travel johns, and chains for our tires during winter travels (which luckily we ended up not needing and were able to return them). Again, the kind of gear that you will need will depend on the type of trip you will plan. However, you do not necessarily need any special gear for your road trip travels throughout the USA. "An epic road trip must be epically expensive". Again, there is no one formula, or price point, for a long road trip adventure. Those who choose to pitch tents in National Parks throughout the country will have a very different budget than those who prefer to sleep in five-star hotels along the way. "A good road trip requires too much planning". Yes, there is planning that needs to go into a successful road trip. You'll want to plan your next stop, where you will sleep, as well as which sites you will visit. Keep in mind though, the entirety of your trip does not, and probably should not, be planned at the onset. Don't get overwhelmed by the planning. Just plan one destination at a time. This will also allow you to move more fluidly without being bogged down by any advanced bookings. "You're likely to go crazy in a car for long periods of time". We thought this would happen to us as well. During our first stretches, we uploaded podcasts and audiobooks to get us through the many hours of driving. Miraculously, after driving through a few lengthy stretches, long drives on the road became easier and easier. We no longer needed the support of entertainment that we once relied on. In fact, nowadays, a four-hour drive is truly a piece of cake, one that we would take even for a great day trip. "Land and resources are scarce". Well, this is not one that came up in the context of our conversations around our road trip. However, it is a common feeling shared by many in the country and world. There is a sense that there isn't enough land, water, food, resources, etc... Countries go into war over this notion. People are killed for these things. I am here to tell you that there is an abundance of land and resources in the United States of America. There is so much unused land, like infinite amounts of it. There are thousands of oil rigs, endless farmland, and countless pristine lakes, rivers, and streams. What we need to do is start practicing gratitude for this ample abundance rather than convince ourselves that this plentitude does not exist. Take care of our earth, it is unbelievably loyal to the very humans who often overlook how good it is to us. So, these are my responses to your most common questions. Have any others? Shoot me a message and I'd be happy to answer them for you! More importantly, start planning your road trip asap!

Lately, I have become aware that I often have opposite perspectives of the people I interact with. Even more so, I recognize that I make decisions that are often the exact opposite of the current trend. I have been mulling this over trying to pinpoint when this pattern arose, why it erupted, and whether this approach has hurt me or served me well. The most recent realization struck when friends have asked why we are moving to California and whether we considered a move to Florida. While many New Yorkers have made a move to the Sunshine State for better weather and lower taxes, we did the exact opposite and chose a move cross country to a state that charges even more taxes than New York. It would have been an obvious choice for us to move to Florida, our hometown. We have family there as well as many childhood friends and friends who relocated south from New York. Yet, we resisted this option from the get-go. Suddenly, I desired to dive into other examples of times I've marched to the beat of my own drum. - When the majority of folks from New York City voted for Biden, I voted for Trump. I'm not a staunch Republican per se, I've voted for both parties in the past (in fact I voted for Hillary the term before). This last round though felt extra important to vote opposite of how those around me chose to cast their ballots. Politics became way too divisive and the overt judgment imposed on Republicans by my uber-liberal New York friends, neighbors, and colleagues really began to annoy me. I didn't want to feel like I was voting for Biden just because everyone else around me was or because I was afraid of being judged as a moron. I stepped back, assessing the bigger picture. I felt it was important to vote freely without fear of ostracization and needed to vote opposite of those around me to practice my rights to do what I want during a time politics became more threatening than ever. So, I voted for Trump. - My father recently tried to convince me to invest in real estate in a growing neighborhood. I kept telling him that while others keep buying property, we are trying to get rid of ours. For us, it's a headache to own property and to manage tenants. Yes, although property value increases over time, I just don't find it worth the effort. Unlike most, I don't buy into the American dream of property ownership. I've seen too many people work their lives away so they can own a home and then they rarely leave its walls. We've also had horrible experiences with tenants. I'm with Elon Musk on this one, we're selling everything. These are just two tiny examples of many, but I think you get the point. So, why, I wonder, do I go against the grain at every opportunity? How has this pattern affected my life? Is it a path I want to continue pursuing? An even bigger question for myself is where did this instinct to live on a perpetual opposite day come from? In digging deeper to answer these questions, I traveled back to a childhood where I never quite fit in. My hard-working, middle-class parents placed me in a private school with the help of financial aid. I was surrounded by wealthy kids who lived in Miami Beach mansions while I drove back home to our small Hollywood townhouse. During my college days, and even well into my current life stage, I always felt (and still do), conflicted between my Israeli and American roots. My family moved to the US when I was three. I practically spent my entire life in the United States, but I was raised by Israeli parents with Israeli views and perspectives. I've always felt "too Israeli" for my American friends and "too American" for my Israeli friends. I do think that eventually the circumstances of feeling out of place ironically helped formulate a sense of security and confidence in being different. I spent so many years feeling out of place, in not the best ways, that I finally stopped resisting the ways I was different than the people around me and began to embrace them instead. This acceptance catapulted me into making decisions that were different and living a life that is different. Looking back at all the many ways I made deliberate decisions to behave differently than the popular tendencies, I realize how irritating and even threatening, this may have felt to those around me. There have been those along the way who had a strong sense of security and were supportive and sometimes even inspired by my unconventional choices. These folks often inspired me too. Yet, there have been many who made it clear in their behaviors and questions, that they were obviously bothered by my choices along the way. Somehow, my unorthodox approaches threatened their safer ones. Regardless of the feedback, I plowed through the path that called my name. My message to you is to be different. My life has been so rewarding and fulfilling because I consciously decide, whenever possible, to do the exact opposite of what others are doing. The less treaded territory has almost always been the place that I have found happiness because the road less traveled truly delivers the most unexpected treasures. Humans sensibly feel most safe blending with crowds, traveling in herds. It's comforting to know that there is support in the successes and failures we share with others. It feels safe to make choices that are similar to the ones of our neighbors and friends. But, there is something extremely inhibiting about following the status quo. Write your own unusual script, despite how scary or lonely it may feel. Feeling unsafe and uncertain is healthy sometimes. Allow yourself to enter these spaces. They will ultimately take you somewhere much better than where you started off. You are living your one life this one time. All the rules and constructs that have been imposed on you do not have to exist in your life, in your script. You really can do almost anything once you break free from the chains that have seduced you into a set of norms. Do not convince yourself to be complacent. You have so much more to uncover and discover. Yet, there is so little time. Don't wait too long. Push yourself. Push yourself to be different. Push yourself now. Break the rules. Don't worry about the Joneses, it's really turf on their lawn. Face your fears and feel those butterflies in your stomach that flutter once you decide to do the very thing you have wanted to do for so long but have been too scared to pursue. When was the last time you had butterflies in your stomach? For myself, every time I face the unknown and do things that may seem erratic or crazy to others, I feel those exciting flutters. Those are the very moments I know that I have made the right decision. It is when I am most afraid to try something new, and push through my fears, that I am always rewarded in the best ways. We are all unique human beings. The problem lies in pushing away our innate differences to assimilate, keep up, be accepted, follow the norms, stay under the radar, please others, etc. While following along feels safe, I think we can mostly agree that it is limiting and sometimes even an unknowingly boring path. That special quality you have, which you may try to suppress, is likely the very one you should share with the world. Those dreams you have, that you keep pushing off for another day, are probably the ones that you should pursue now. Celebrate what makes you different than everyone around you and then feed it, nurture it, nourish it. I hope you will join me on a journey that will lead to new roads of discovery, with their potholes and all. Please drop me a note and share what you have been pushing off and the ways that you are beautifully different than others. I would love to hear from you.

I cannot believe we are wrapping up twenty-three years in Manhattan. No other city can compare to the vibrant energy, the throbbing pulse, and the pounding excitement that New York City exudes. I think about all the wonderful memories that we have made here and they warm my heart. Out of all the fantastic qualities Manhattan offers, I will miss our apartment most, because of the magical memories we made in it during our eleven years living within its walls. Our kids grew up in our apartment. We hosted countless dinner parties and threw pretty epic rooftop soirees. Our home is filled with the soft hums of bedtime stories, the sounds of instruments playing, a broken-in couch from our family movie nights, a kitchen that has been pushed to its fullest potential by pushing out thousands of meals, our children's friends gathering for playdates, cupcake decorating parties, and Superbowl parties. This is the home where our door is always unlocked and shoes are immediately thrown off in the foyer so that no outside street grime is tracked into our sacred space. These walls sometimes hid monsters that we had to zap with homemade monster sprays and they also well-hid those hiding in endless hide-and-seek games. This four-bedroom apartment kept all three of our children in one bedroom so they could share each other's space as long as possible and make their own bedtime memories filled with whispers, mischief, and giggles. The bathtubs live to tell stories of the many days that all three of them were young enough to take bubble baths together, and then the showers welcomed them when it was time for more privacy. The refrigerator in this apartment patiently graced us as its door was open and shut millions of times by the pudgy hands that constantly searched for snacks. This apartment has witnessed the building of massive forts and huge train tracks that spanned the living room floors. Our dining room seated dozens of guests for holiday dinners and was the core of countless conversations, many of them around the topic of poop. The floor mirror in our bedroom watched me glam up for the New York nightlife and was an honest friend who always made sure to send me off looking my best. The bean bags in our playroom are shaped in the beautiful frames of our children's bodies who jumped into them for Xbox games and quiet reading times. Our guest bedroom was frequently used by the many guests who graced us with their visits. How I loved to welcome our visitors with fresh flowers, gourmet chocolates, and thoughtful touches so that they too can immediately feel the love in our home. Our living room floor has surprisingly not caved in from the hours and hours spent sitting on its wooden floors for board games, coloring time, neighborly dog visits, dancing, and basketball bouncing. This same living room had our adult friends singing karaoke, being entertained by burlesque dancers, and everything in between. I remember the time our oldest was four and asked me to marry him while we were in the kitchen. I remember the costume chest filled with fairy wings, boa feathers, and superhero uniforms that our children would proudly wear. I remember upgrading to a King size bed so that all five of us could snuggle in one bed, I miss these days the most. I remember their little bodies sneaking into our bed at night just to be close to us. I remember pulling out their scooters almost every single day so that they could zoom up and down the city sidewalks as quickly as possible. I remember their milestones within these walls: first solid foods, first crawl, and steps, first words, first days of schools. I remember, with such clarity, the awareness of their little feet growing and growing, and still growing, and the sounds of their steps walking up and down the hallway. I remember the days of Harry Potter and Percy Jackson and the ways the characters became a part of our family. I remember the late nights my husband and I would quietly tiptoe into our rooms and miraculously wake up just four hours later with the required energy to care for fully awake kids. I remember the curls and "kid accents" and giggles bouncing through the house. I remember the tea parties I shared with my kids on tiny tables and chairs. I remember when the kids would come out of their showers smelling so fresh and wearing their proper pajamas, often matching ones. I remember the arts & crafts, and the baking of cupcakes, and the infinite lego worlds, all of which were made right in this very apartment. I realize that all these beautiful memories are stored in my heart, not in a closet. I can take these memories wherever I go. While I miss these days like crazy, and my heart yearns for them so badly that I wonder if it will physically break in half from the longing, I know these days are gone, although they still are very much still alive. The memories we have made in this apartment will be carried with me forever. New ones have been made and new ones will continue to be made. Wherever we move in the world, these memories will always travel with me. What I cannot allow, is for them to hold us back from making new memories elsewhere. Leaving this apartment in no way means leaving behind the memories made in it. While there is a soft voice asking me if I really want to leave all this behind, there is a louder voice urging me not to be lured by the memories of yesterday, which will then keep me from making tomorrow's memories. My kids no longer have little feet or the need to snuggle in our bed. With remote schooling and our road trip adventures, our apartment has sat empty for an entire year without any memories being pumped into it. Our memories over the last year were instead made throughout the USA on our various road trip stops. I need to remember that these beautiful memories are effortlessly transported to come along wherever we go. This is an extremely special home. I don't know if we will ever have the opportunity to recreate the memories we made here. Will we easily make friends who we will entertain and host? I don't know if we are making a big mistake leaving. I don't know whether I will regret this decision or whether we will return with our tails between our legs. I don't know if my kids will miss their NYC friends, whom they've known practically their entire lives, more than they realize. Honestly, I don't know what the fuck we are doing. There is just a sense of urgency to push through these unknowns and a stronger call to break through complacency that seems to permeate my thoughts. My instinct is calling me to try something new, somewhere new. My gut is telling me that leaving it all behind will be worth it. Of course, we won't know until we try. This could be the best decision we ever made, or the worst one. There is also the obvious fear of leaving such a safe space, one that has protected us so lovingly for over a decade. We are going through with a move to a place across the country where we haven't locked down a permanent housing situation. The market in La Jolla is at its peak. There are barely any homes on the market for sale or for rent. The very few homes that are available for rent are even triple the already high rates in New York City and they are mostly short-term rentals. We are proceeding knowing that we may hit many obstacles settling in quickly and finding a long-term dwelling situation. Yet, somehow, this all feels exciting, liberating, and perfectly irresponsible. It's been so long since I have taken such risks and tested new territories in such a blind way. Living a nomadic life for the past year, nine months of them spent traveling through the country, hopping from one Airbnb to another, has really changed my perspectives on what really makes me happy. The memories made always bring me back to my happy place. We were happy in each of the dozens of homes we rented along our journey all of which had no history or sentimental value to us. This was possible because we had our memories tucked in our hearts and each other to share the adventures with. I just keep coming back to the realization that we have one shot at life. When I look back on the days of youth and vitality, I need to know that I experienced as much as possible and didn't make life choices based on comfort and safety. In order to live my fullest life, I need to allow myself to try new experiences, even when I am afraid. It was in the very moments when I faced my fears, during our road trip, mostly through some uncomfortable moments in nature, that I grew, evolved, and changed. While New York City is a spectacular place, it has filled our cup. If we stay, I fear that we will never change. I'm not sure there is much more growth for my husband and me here any longer. It sure helps a ton that our kids are on board with relocating. One thing I know with certainty is that the apartment we leave behind is filled with the best energy for those who will move in to inhale and absorb. I feel a sense of excitement for the next family who lives here and I look forward to proudly passing the torch to the next dwellers. I also feel a sense of exhilaration knowing that all the precious memories created in our apartment will come along with us when we close the front door for the last time. I love this city and I love the days we lived in our home. Our reason to move is nothing personal. It's just a matter of making new memories and having new experiences somewhere else because there is too much to do, see, and explore in this short life we have all been gifted. Yes, I'm scared and a tad bit sad too, but I can't wait to find out what lies out there for us, outside of the walls we have called home for the past eleven years.

Every state has a Crazy Town and on our most recent stretch of road, we seemed to keep passing through it again and again and again. My first visit was with that mom in Santa Fe who guided me through Crazy Town like no other tour guide ever has (see the previous post). Rather than her apologizing for a misunderstanding, I was name called, insulted, and cut off from communications. Oh boy, was that a crazy Crazy Town visit. Next, our tenants recently called us to notify us that they broke our toilet tank by falling onto it and completely cracking the tank. The entire toilet needs to be replaced. They refuse to pay for the damage they caused. They also refrained from paying rent for their last month in the unit insisting that we use their security deposit to cover April's rent. We all know that's not how it works. This scenario took place in Crazy Town, Brooklyn. Have you been yet? Finally, we received a charge of $250 after we checked out of our house rental in Santa Fe. When I followed up with the management company to find out why we were charged, they said it was for a pet cleaning fee. We don't have a pet. We told them that we don't have a pet. They insisted we were lying and that even if we don't own a pet we had one in the house. Channeling in Bill Clinton here... I don't have a pet, I didn't bring a pet in, but maybe I pet a pet. Actually, we didn't even pet any four-legged creatures our entire stay. I tried to explain to them that the wool throw blanket on their couch sheds like a hairy animal but they refused to believe me, insisting that we do in fact have a pet, ultimately charging us $500 for breaking the pet policy on the contract and for a deep cleaning for a pet that doesn't exist. So, what do you do when arriving at a Crazy Town near you? Below are my top five tips when finding yourself in any of the Crazy Towns throughout the USA. Imagine the locals in Crazy Town that you make contact with are cartoon figures. This makes the town visit a lot more entertaining. I imagined Yosemite Sam pointing his guns in the air saying "show me your pet". Don't try to line up perspectives with realities. No matter how hard you will try to make sense of things, you'll quickly learn that the only reality that exists in Crazy Town is that there is no reality. Realities are really based on perspectives. Since we all have different perspectives and tend to hold on to our own firmly, there really is no actual reality. The Sheriff of Crazy Town can be standing across from you on the same street accusing you of having a pet that you don't have. In his reality, you have a pet. In your reality, you do not. So, who is right? Crazy Town loves its curveballs and its citizens love to throw them at all those who visit. Don't dodge them. They'll just keep throwing more your way. Take the curveballs, entertain the crazies, and then drive the heck out of there as fast as you can. The crazies in Crazy Town love to make accusations. They may accuse you of being an immigrant, as the mom in the Santa Fe fiasco did. Or they may accuse you of having a pet, even when you do not. Or they may accuse you of spreading the virus when you aren't wearing your mask, even though you are vaccinated. Don't take the accusations personally. Crazies are raised to be on the defensive and are bred to mistrust everyone around them. You won't change their minds so don't bother trying. When possible, document your experience at any Crazy Town location in the US. Write down what you encountered and share the stories of the native crazies you met along the way. You will delight your friends with stories from your close encounters of the crazy kind. Crazy Town exists in every neighborhood, city, state, and country on the globe. There is no escaping it. Everyone is privy to a visit and it is unknowingly the most traveled place on the planet. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the rallies of soldiers in these towns are always recruiting. Do not submit. Do not give in, no matter how adorable the cartoon figures you conjure up seem to be. Now, thanks to the crazies in Crazy Town, Santa Fe, I am actually itching for a Golden Retriever. A beautiful, always seemingly smiling, long-haired, and superbly shedding Golden Retriever. One that will lick my face and bite my toes and make my kids squeal with delight. If we do opt for a puppy, he/she will always be our souvenir from Crazy Town, Santa Fe.